Gradually the pain in your lungs becomes unbearable and you exhale the last of your breath. As they fill with water, you slip into a state of unconsciousness from which you will never be revived.
-Sadly, your life and your quest end here.
+The arrow strikes you in the centre of your forehead and an explosion of white light engulfs your vision. For a few fleeting moments you feel yourself tumbling backwards into a deep, dark abyss. Then all sensation vanishes and you cease to be.
-Tragically, your life and your mission end here in the catacombs of Fort Vlau.
+The searing flames engulf your vision, and suddenly you feel yourself tumbling backwards into a deep, dark abyss. An enemy shell has exploded in front of your position and you have caught the full force of the blast. Mercifully, your death is painless and instantaneous, but your life and your mission end here in Fort Vlau.
+The searing flames engulf your vision, and suddenly you feel yourself tumbling backwards into a deep, dark abyss. An enemy shell has exploded in front of your position and you have caught the full force of the blast.
+The instant you hit the ground, a flash of white light engulfs your vision and you feel yourself tumbling backwards into a deep, dark abyss. The fall has rendered you unconscious and, sadly, you will never regain your senses. The ghastly ice creatures bear down on you and ruthlessly they tear you limb from limb. Mercifully, your death is painless and instantaneous, but your life and your mission end here.
+The instant you hit the ground, a flash of white light engulfs your vision and you feel yourself tumbling backwards into a deep, dark abyss. The fall has rendered you unconscious and, sadly, you will never regain your senses. The ghastly ice creatures bear down on you and ruthlessly they tear you limb from limb.
+(220) Replaced Brotherhood spell
with Brotherhood Spell
. Replaced you look at each of the people who are gathered here
with you look at each of the persons gathered here
.
(222) Replaced Between these
with From between their
. Replaced metres
with yards
.
(224) Replaced add +1 to
with add 1 to
.
(226) Split the final sentence into its own paragraph for consistency.
(228) Replaced Kai-alchemy, and
with Kai-alchemy and
.
(229) Replaced dwarves and
with dwarves, and
. Replaced The Captain
with The captain
. Replaced Astrology, and
with Astrology and
. Replaced Kai-alchemy, and
with Kai-alchemy and
.
(233) Replaced Brotherhood spell
with Brotherhood Spell
. Replaced Kirusami
with
. Replaced Spear), and
with Spear) and
.
(265) Replaced as a Special Item which you store in your backpack
with as a Special Item
.
(266) Replaced each occurrence of flagtower
with flag-tower
.
(270) Replaced sixth sense
with Sixth Sense
. Replaced each occurrence of metres
with yards
. Replaced well-founded
with well founded
. Replaced the Captain
with the captain
. Replaced The Captain
with The captain
.
(271) Replaced life and your mission ends
with life and your mission end
.
(271) Replaced life and your mission ends
with life and your mission end
. Split the final sentence into its own paragraph for consistency.
(272) Replaced gutteral
with guttural
. Replaced Kai-alchemy, and
with Kai-alchemy and
. Replaced Magi-magic, and
with Magi-magic and
. Replaced Bow, and
with Bow and
.
(275) Replaced ribcage
with rib cage
.
(276) Replaced bow
with Bow
. Replaced each occurrence of arrow
with Arrow
. Replaced flagtower
with flag-tower
. Replaced Kai-alchemy, and
with Kai-alchemy and
. Replaced Magi-magic, and
with Magi-magic and
.